Hours: Optional

      Alright ladies and gentlemen.  Sit down and buckle up because there's a rant incoming.  As an occasional customer of the golden arches across from my building a regular viewer of its customers (because, well.. I'm weird), a few things have bothered me about how it operates and it's time to let them out. 

Operating in a College Community

      So this McD's is right next to an entirely student apartment complex, a block away from the largest student off campus property for Bradley University, and two blocks from campus.  So it's safe to say that a large chunk of its customers are college students...right? Yet this place isn't open 24 hours.  We'll talk more about its 'hours' in the next section.  But, as a business, how do you make the conscious decision to alienate a huge chunk of your clientele that is consistently up late, within walking distance, and notoriously hungry?  When all the other places on campus are closed, you've been studying late for finals, or you've been partaking in late night social activities - your friend Ronald McDonald should always be there to take care of your empty stomach like an unsung superhero. 

Lights Out

 

      This McDonald's two blocks from campus decides the best way to make lots of money is to close the restaurant at 10:00 PM....So it's not bad enough that this place closes at 10:00 PM every night, but they'll decide to lock the door early if it's 'slow'.  'Slow' seems to have no actual quantitative measurement and is purely subjective to what the staff deems not worth their time, so you never know when the place is actually open till.  Sometimes the inside lights will be dimmed, sometimes the outside lights will shut off at 8:33 PM for no apparent reason.  Or come on at 6:17 PM just because.  The lack of consistency in hours coupled with the fact that the lights switch on and off more irregularly than a celebrity relationship's status makes it almost impossible to know when the place is actually open.  To the point where sometimes I can't even be sure by looking out the window. 

"It's Broken" 

      We all know this dreaded statement.  Your sweet tooth has finally broken you down, so you walk into McDonald's (if you're lucky enough to catch it open) and walk up to the counter hankering for some of that Oreo filled, creamy ice cream goodness that is an Oreo McFlurry.  But then you hear those dreaded words....."our ice cream machine is broken."  No tone of apology, no alternative offered, no cheer, happiness, or joy (or life for that matter) in their voice. Just a matter of fact 'it's broken', then they go on with their evening unless you choose an alternative.  Which, let's be real, you came for ice cream, you're not ordering a double quarter pounder with cheese; they know you're leaving.

      But, fun fact, the employees aren't just being lazy and not wanting to make you your cup of Oreo happiness.  A cursory google search showed that this is a problem at McDonald's franchises across the US.  The truth is, the ice cream machines are designed to go into a self cleaning mode in off peak hours'.  This cleaning cycle can take up to 4 hours and the store has little to no control over it.  So instead of explaining all this, it's just easier for the McEmployee to tell you the machine is broken and brace themselves for the wave of angry words to hit them. But you sweets lovers out there have good news, do not fret! McDonald's is in the process of rolling out new machines all across the states that will be easier to maintain (so they don't actually break), quicker to clean, and faster!  Praise the ice cream gods!